Vutomi Tshabalala is a 23-year-old divorcee, single mother and compliance officer. She writes motivational articles in her personal capacity.
So many of us are too consumed about what is going on around us that we haven’t figure out our own lives. Often times people are too scared to express themselves, be themselves or even do things that will make them enjoy true happiness with the fear of being judged. We limit our potential and joy with the hope to avoid making the next person uncomfortable. Yet when the end days come you only have yourself to reflect with. When such a time comes, can you truly say that you have lived your best life?
Love yourself enough to wake up every morning and commit to you. No point in impressing the streets when your home is still without direction. No point in buying a car that you don’t need just to impress the neighbors, they won’t be the ones to cover the cost come month-end. No point in renting a fancy home that you cannot afford, just to give into the pressure/idea of how peers of your own age are living. Sometimes you fake it for so long, that you actually never make it. Live within your means, enjoy your best life and leave a mark. You cannot take care of other people and their emotions, if you cannot take care of yourself.
Being a late Reverends’ child I could write a book about living life a certain way just to earn the approval of church members. Not because I was are forced to, but just so my father’s memory could forever live. I was consumed by the idea of how a reverends’ child should behave. Since his passing, people would often say; “He wouldn’t want to see you do this, he would want you to do that…” Really? How true is that? Did he take the time to seat down with you and explain how he would like to raise his kids? Did he share his dreams and hopes he had for us? How do you know that he was never going to change his mind? How do you then expect me to live a dead man’s dream while I am still alive? Are my dreams suddenly not valid because he died? Oooh! how I cry for orphans being channeled to live their lives under the shadow of their late parents.
Live your best life. Teach yourself the habit of waking up every morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself sweet nothings. Dress up and take yourself out on a date to the restaurant that you have always wanted to go to. Be selfish with your time and resources. If someone invites you to an event that you cannot afford, it is okay to politely turn down the offer. Not everyone can afford to go on vacations that require a passport, Kruger national park is still a relaxing destination. Eat your porridge at home and then go to the restaurant to have yourself your favorite desert. Live within your means and be happy.
Go on unplanned trips and turn off your phone. Write a bucket list and do the things that make you happy. Young parent: occasionally drop the kids off at their grannies house and go on a couple’s night out or weekend away. Allow your partner to go on vacations away with their friends just to keep their unique individual personality alive. Live your best life, if there is something you have always wanted to experience, there is no better time than now.
People are going to talk whether you do good or bad. So do yourself some justice and give them something that gives you inner joy to talk about. Your kids are going to grow up and leave you behind to enjoy their own lives, so raise them in a responsible manner without compromising on your own individual happiness. Every fantasy you ever had is worth living, live your best life.