Vutomi Tshabalala is a 23-year-old divorcee, single mother and compliance officer. She writes motivational articles in her personal capacity.
Since no one is exempt from the challenges of this world, when such times come and knock us down, it is easy to feel like you are on your own. It may appear as though you have no one to lean on. As though everyone suddenly becomes too occupied with their own lives when you need them the most. A wise man once said: ”When days are dark friends are few”.
While that is true, I also believe that when one is at their weakest, a new army of people always rise to support them. As good as it is to have friends to help lift you up, sometimes that army requires new form of energy which will not accommodate some of your friends.
When we are down and out, we often have our heroes in mind and when those people don’t come to the party we feel all alone and betrayed. The truth of the matter still remains that we are never alone; we just wish certain people were the ones being there for us. Our expectations create the illusion that we are alone and that no one cares about us.
A case in point will be one whereby you lose someone dear to you through death. In the black community, society gathers in masses to support from start to finish. The community at large may be present, yet you still feel lonely in the whole situation as you expect and long for the support of a specific companion. Never underestimate those who are there for you, they are simply the relevant people for the time and given situation.
Stop crying yourself to sleep at night thinking that no one cares for you. You are loved and relevant in this life time; you just need to understand how it is impossible to have the same audience for all different situations in your life. Don’t end meaningful friendships based on your expectation of them to be present at your every downfall event. Recognize those who try and appreciate those who show up.
It is amazing how we are all born with a guarantee that we are going to experience hardships at some point in this journey called life. This journey is truly worthwhile when you have companions to go experience it with. Even more important is to acknowledge that you are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, so smile with those who smile with you and then treasure those whom still stick around to cry with you. When in doubt about your value in other people’s lives due to their absence in a definite period of need, consider if truly they would have added true meaning to your situation.
Have your circle of friends, have your people who’ll pick you up when you’re down; be it financially or emotionally or even otherwise. You cannot be running to everyone with your business, just as much as you cannot rely on one person at all times. Fact of the matter is that not everyone cares and those that do care don’t possess enough energy to lift you up every single time. Regardless, even a stranger can come and be your hero, you just need to take a step back and appreciate God or the universe for ensuring that your paths crossed at that very moment. You are never alone, expectations just create an illusion that you are. Find comfort, peace and healing. Life is hard and cold when you are alone, so don’t ever for a second take someone’s presence for granted.